Three-piece suits, pocket squares and fob watches may be coming back
into fashion, but that doesn’t mean the guys wearing them can be
classified as ‘gentlemen.’ Today we’re going to have a look at the
qualities a true gentleman possesses. I’d also like to point out this is
just as relevant to women, because essentially being a gentleman means
not being an arsehole to people, and there are plenty of girls who can
apply this philosophy to their every day lives. So when you’re reading
these points, be aware I’m talking to both genders. Also, know you won’t
be finding any rubbish about dress sense, wine knowledge or vocabulary
here.
1. They’re Respectful…To Everyone
I get really annoyed at the misconception that a gentleman, or an
actual guy who is nice, should be respectful to a woman he is interested
in. This simply perpetuates the idea that respect is merely a tool to
be exchanged for sex. A true gentleman, and gentlewoman for that matter,
should be polite and respectful to everyone, regardless of gender. He
or she shouldn’t be using it as a means of attraction.
2. They Support Their Partners’ Dreams And Goals
Unless his partner aims to be a crackhead, a gentleman should respect
her life ambitions, even if they can be difficult to achieve. In my
case, my partner is incredibly supportive of my freelance writing
because he is awesome and believes in me. By the same token, I don’t
think it’s anyone’s sole responsibility to financially support someone
who isn’t bringing anything to the table themselves. Again in my case,
my partner does earn more money, but I also work two additional jobs to
contribute to the household. That’s my choice, not his. In my opinion,
you should never expect someone else to support your goals and dreams if
you won’t support your own; financially or emotionally.
3. They’re Honest And Open
A gentleman is less likely to engage in the oh-so-attractive game
playing when it comes to romance. He is open and honest, because when
you find the right person, neither of you feel the need to go down the
road of calculating how many days after a date you should call, pretend
not to actually like them so they’ll like you more, and purposely
withdraw affection.
4. They Don’t Abandon Their Partner When Things Get Tough
Relationships aren’t always sunshine and rainbows. Some days they can
be incredibly tough, no matter how much you love each other. A
gentleman doesn’t run away when things get a little hard; he supports
his partner and the relationship itself.
5. They’re Polite – To Everyone
Again, politeness shouldn’t be used as a weapon for pants-dropping. A
gentleman should be polite to everyone, with no ulterior motive.
6. They Keep Doors Open For Everyone
This may be a controversial point, because I know a lot of people
hate it when guys open doors for them. But here’s my philosophy on the
subject: If I’m about to walk through a door, I always either let the
person behind me go first, or keep it open for him or her once I’ve gone
through. Perhaps the former is a bit much, but it’s something I’ve
always done. I do however think it’s incredibly rude if I’m right behind
someone and he or she lets the door close in my face. So in my humble
opinion, I think a gentleman should keep a door open for someone behind
him, regardless of gender or age. It’s just common courtesy.
7. They Compromise
Gentlemen know compromise is a necessity when it comes to a happy,
healthy relationship. Regardless of their own wants or needs (including
rules about anything they have in their heads, including this list) they
take their partners’ opinions and needs into consideration. Once again,
the same goes for us too ladies. No matter who you are, it is not all
about you.
8. They’re Feminists
Yeah, you heard me. Feel free to start writing your flame comments
now if you like. Despite the fact that it’s 2014, plenty of people (both
male and female) are laboring under the misconception that feminism is a
dirty word. In addition, they confuse the word ‘feminism’ with
‘misandry.’ A real gentleman is aware feminism is the belief that both
men and women deserve to be treated equally, and they will have
absolutely no problem with that.
9. They Help People
Gentlemen go out of their way to help people around them, whether
they’re loved ones or someone they haven’t met. I’m not saying they need
to devote their entire lives to helping others every second, but random
acts of kindness never go astray.
10. They Put Family First
Whether their partner, parents and siblings or even close friends;
these people will always come first to a gentleman. They don’t abandon
their sick wife to go drinking with their mates, or stay home on Easter
because they can’t be bothered seeing the in-laws. Family is everything
to them.
11. Their Actions Speak Louder Than Words
A friend said to me recently, a gentleman is “someone whose actions
reach further than his own self-interest.” I think that sums it up
beautifully.
12. They Don’t Claim to Be ‘Nice Guys’
Gentlemen, in the truest sense of the word, are not ‘Nice Guys.’ In
case you’re unaware, ‘Nice Guys’ are dudes who claim to respect women
and to be super nice and yet complain when girls don’t immediately drop
their pants for them. Usually this is because the girl in question
didn’t react favorably to unsolicited poetry, declarations of love,
expensive presents or referring to her as “milady” within the two weeks
of meeting. This is usually followed by calling her ‘slut’ or the b-word
and whining about being ‘friend zoned’ again. These guys are in no way
nice and are certainly not gentlemen; regardless of how many doors they
open or dozens of roses they send. They simply cover up their
psychological issues and inherent misogyny with a veil of outdated
chivalry and fedoras.
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